Trauma Dumping: 3 Effective Ways to Support Your Friend
Trauma Dumping: 3 Effective Ways to Support Your Friend and Access Resources
Trauma Dumping
Ways to Support Your Friend and Access Recess
The original article was posted on Clinicians of Color Blog in February 2024.
If you have read A Solution B’s homepage, you may have noticed that I work with many resilient women who sometimes find themselves in the role of the trusted "counselor" within their friend group. These women are compassionate and empathetic, always ready to lend an ear and offer support to their friends in times of need. However, after talking with several individuals, it has become apparent that a recurring theme that tends to arise is that many of these women often feel overwhelmed and drained by their friends "trauma dumping" on them. It is not uncommon for these individuals to feel like they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, carrying the emotional burden of their friends' struggles, and over time…this can become mentally and emotionally exhausting.
It is clear to me that some of my blog visitors are probably experiencing the same as many of these women.
First, lets start with understanding what trauma dumping is.
What is Trauma Dumping?
Trauma dumping refers to the act of unloading one's emotional burdens or traumatic experiences onto others without considering their own well-being or capacity to handle such information. It involves sharing graphic or distressing details, often without consent, with the intention of seeking relief or validation. Such behavior can be exhausting for the recipient, as they may feel unprepared to handle someone else's trauma.
As a person with a big heart, I’m sure you want to help your friend. But, we can’t be everything for everyone. To be honest, there are just some things we are not equipped to handle…and that is OKAY.
Here are a few things that can be helpful for both, you and your friend.
Set Boundaries
The discussion of boundaries is essential because each individual has boundaries. Our boundaries are not innate; rather, they develop as we mature. Their healthiness of our boundaries are influenced by the environment in which we are raised. For instance, a girl nurtured in a loving home is likely to establish strong boundaries, while one raised in an abusive environment may struggle to form healthy boundaries in adulthood.
If you wish to learn how to start developing healthy boundaries, A Solution B's very own colleague Joyce Miles has graciously provided a detailed guest blog article for A Solution B’s Blog, which you can read to gain valuable insights and practical tips on how to start setting and maintaining healthy boundaries and being aware of the influence that others can have on us.
“As a person with a big heart, I’m sure you want to help your friend. But, we can’t be everything for everyone. To be honest, there are just some things we are not equipped to handle…and that is OKAY.”
Redirect
I understand the importance of being a supportive friend, especially when someone is sharing sensitive information with you. It's okay if you feel unequipped to handle the situation, especially if you lack the necessary skills. I encourage you to be mindful of how you redirect your friend. If your friend mentions attending therapy, you could consider saying something like, "I wish I could support you, perhaps it's best to discuss this with your therapist." It's important to prioritize your friend's well-being and offer appropriate support. Alternatively you may say, “I understand that what you have to share is important, and I want to acknowledge that. However, I may not be equipped to provide the level of support that you need. I believe there are individuals better suited to offer the assistance that you need.”
Perhaps you are the kind of friend who finds solace in sharing intimate but difficult details with someone you trust, and in that case, it doesn't hurt to consider the option of sharing these concerns with a qualified therapist. To better equip yourself to get the most out of therapy, I have provided this insightful article titled 4 Ways to Make the Most Out of Your Therapy Session that can provide valuable support and guidance on your journey. Additionally, if it is important to you to have a therapist of Color who can better understand your experiences, I have a helpful link that can assist you in finding the right match for your needs.
Pin this!
Pin this image so you can return to it later.
Encourage Support
Sometimes our friends do not fully grasp the concept of therapy and believe that therapy only consists of talking. However, it's important to recognize that there are many types of licensed mental health clinicians who understand that healing comes in various forms. For example, some therapists incorporate somatic therapies such as yoga, while others may utilize EMDR, reiki, mindfulness, acupuncture or incorporate spiritual aspects of healing. It's essential to understand that there's no one-size-fits-all approach, and I encourage you and your friend to explore the diverse approaches to wellness that mental health providers offer. If you are in the West Michigan area, I’ve developed a list of holistic practitioners which you can view here. I've also provided an article that delves further into the benefits of exploring different types of integrative therapies here. Finding culturally relevant and integrative therapy can be an important step in the healing journey.
Summary
Dealing with trauma can strain relationships and hinder the healing process for all involved. If you find yourself in this situation, it's important to establish boundaries with your friend and communicate that you may not have the capacity or expertise to provide the support they need in this area of their life. Furthermore, respectfully encourage your friend to seek professional help and let them know that while talk therapy is beneficial, there are other approaches recognized by mental health therapists that can also be helpful.
It is crucial to acknowledge the significance of seeking appropriate support or professional help when dealing with traumatic experiences and to honor boundaries and consent when sharing sensitive information with others. Your care and concern for your friends demonstrate what a great friend you are to them, and it is my hope that you are also taking care of yourself in the same way.
Additional Resources for Your Well-being
Begin your self-care journey by exploring our store offering a wide range of digital download worksheets and physical products. Consider trying the "Journal Prompts to Begin Your Inner Work" to initiate introspection and personal growth. Additionally, consider the "Worthy of Royalty Self-Care" value pack as it could greatly support your healing journey.
Now that I’ve covered the topic of trauma dumping and ways you can support your friend during this experience, I would love to hear from you about your own experiences. Whether it's a personal encounter or a supportive role for a friend, sharing your insights can help us all gain a better understanding of this complex issue. Please leave a comment below with your thoughts and experiences.
Written by Reynelda Jones, LMSW-C
Source
Social Media and Mental Health. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm. Accessed November 23, 2022.
If you're in need of working through some issues and feel you would benefit from a holistic therapeutic approach, Contact me today for a session.
Join my Facebook Community, The Wellness Solution: Mind. Body. Home . The Wellness Solution community is open to women who seek wellness using holistic approaches by taking steps to address their mind, body, and home. In this group, members ask and answer questions, encourage, and support one another.
To learn more about A Solution B, LLC click here
Book an appointment here I like it, I love it, Gotta have it
Let’s Connect
DISCLAIMER FOR A SOLUTION B, LLC
The Website may discuss topics related to health, fitness, nutrition or medicine. This information should not be treated as medical advice. This blog does not substitute face-to-face medical or therapeutic services. If you require any more information or have any questions about our site's disclaimer, please feel free to contact us by email at asolutionb@gmail.com
DISCLAIMERS FOR A SOLUTION B
All the information on this website - https://www.ASolutionB.Com - is published in good faith and for general information purpose only. A Solution B does not make any warranties about the completeness, reliability and accuracy of this information. Any action you take upon the information you find on this website (A Solution B), is strictly at your own risk. A Solution B will not be liable for any losses and/or damages in connection with the use of our website. Our Disclaimer was generated with the help of the Disclaimer Generator and the Disclaimer Generator.
From our website, you can visit other websites by following hyperlinks to such external sites. While we strive to provide only quality links to useful and ethical websites, we have no control over the content and nature of these sites. These links to other websites do not imply a recommendation for all the content found on these sites. Site owners and content may change without notice and may occur before we have the opportunity to remove a link which may have gone 'bad'.
Please be also aware that when you leave our website, other sites may have different privacy policies and terms which are beyond our control. Please be sure to check the Privacy Policies of these sites as well as their "Terms of Service" before engaging in any business or uploading any information.
CONSENT
By using our website, you hereby consent to our disclaimer and agree to its terms.
UPDATE
Should we update, amend or make any changes to this document, those changes will be prominently posted here.
